This blog post was sparked by the following post, originally posted by George Takei:
Severe Anxiety Explained
One of my sons deals with severe anxiety EVERY.SINGLE.DAY. of his life. He deals with social phobia the severity of which renders him homebound frequently. Meds help, but they don't completely "fix" the problem.
Anxiety is real, folks. It's not something you can just "get over" or turn off like a light switch. It isn't something that you can control.
Its debilitating and crippling. Its frustrating and aggravating. It infiltrates a family and changes its dynamic.
It isn't a way to get attention. If anything, he wishes he could just disappear and not draw attention to himself.
Sometimes my son looks "fine" or "normal" (whatever that is), and he seems okay when he most definitely is not.
Other times, he's a fun-loving, carefree kid enjoying spending time with his friends like he's supposed to at this age.
The catch is: he never knows which it's going to be. There are triggers and we certainly try to avoid them as best we can, but he can't control the anxiety any more than he can control the weather.
The most frustrating thing for me as his mother is there isn't a lot I can do to help. God what I wouldn’t give if I could just take it from him and let it be me rather than him!
Instead, I am his umbrella.
I crawl inside his sofa cushion fort and ride out the anxiety with him.
I snuggle next to him and let him hide his face in my shirt while pretending I'm the one who needs a hug to keep him from being embarrassed.
I splash his face with cold water when he's in a full blown panic attack and can't catch his breath.
I clean up my car and help him change clothes when the very thought of having to be in an unknown situation causes him to vomit uncontrollably.
I patiently listen when he obsesses over perceived wrongs and continually repeats things that are bothering him; things that most people would simply shake off and then move on.
I get him the very best mental healthcare available; driving over a hundred miles round-trip to see the best child psychiatrist in the area.
I fight for him and jump through any hoop I need to in order to make his struggle a little easier.
I react immediately when he tells me he doesn’t feel right. I consider myself extremely fortunate that he’s self-aware and trusts me enough to come to me and tell me something is wrong. Some parents don’t have the chance to help their kids who are struggling before it’s too late.
If you're friend or family to someone who also suffers from severe anxiety, be their umbrella. Your kindness, understanding, caring, and love may be the thing that helps make their life a little easier today.
Showing posts with label Kiddos. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Kiddos. Show all posts
April 1, 2015
August 1, 2014
It's Not Defeat if you let Them Win
I wore a black dress to Mama's funeral and decided I needed black pantyhose to go with it. Considering it's July in Florida, which means it's hotter than Hell's hinges outside, I really don't know what I was thinking besides the fact that I've always been told ladies are supposed to wear them with dresses.
For the record, I hate pantyhose. Doesn't matter if I'm skinny or fat, I always struggle putting them on. Always have.
Anyway, that morning, I grabbed a pair and as I sat down to put them on, I muttered, "I'm about to do battle, boys."
Daniel asked, "Battle? With who?"
Me: "With these pantyhose."
Daniel: "With...(blinks in disbelief) pantyhose??"
Me: "I know they're an inanimate object but you'd never know it considering the fight they put up when I attempt to put them on. You've got to get them on straight, without bunching or twisting, and you've gotta get them up without tearing a hole in them, which is really difficult to do."
Daniel: "Oh. I see."
Me: "You know, it's not really a battle so much as it is a war. I'm waging war on these pantyhose."
Daniel (bemused): "War, eh? Okay..." (he sits down to watch the spectacle)
Christopher: (hasn't said a word, just watching in amusement)
Me: (struggling... a few choice words are uttered... curse inventor of pantyhose... :screech: ... 15 sweaty minutes later I throw them across the room)
Daniel (smirking): "So... who won?"
Me: "Smarty pants. You should try putting on a pair some time!"
Daniel (snickering): "Yeah, after watching that, I'll pass. You got your butt kicked, Mom. I'm pretty sure you lost the battle and the war."
For the record, I hate pantyhose. Doesn't matter if I'm skinny or fat, I always struggle putting them on. Always have.
Anyway, that morning, I grabbed a pair and as I sat down to put them on, I muttered, "I'm about to do battle, boys."
Daniel asked, "Battle? With who?"
Me: "With these pantyhose."
Daniel: "With...(blinks in disbelief) pantyhose??"
Me: "I know they're an inanimate object but you'd never know it considering the fight they put up when I attempt to put them on. You've got to get them on straight, without bunching or twisting, and you've gotta get them up without tearing a hole in them, which is really difficult to do."
Daniel: "Oh. I see."
Me: "You know, it's not really a battle so much as it is a war. I'm waging war on these pantyhose."
Daniel (bemused): "War, eh? Okay..." (he sits down to watch the spectacle)
Christopher: (hasn't said a word, just watching in amusement)
Me: (struggling... a few choice words are uttered... curse inventor of pantyhose... :screech: ... 15 sweaty minutes later I throw them across the room)
Daniel (smirking): "So... who won?"
Me: "Smarty pants. You should try putting on a pair some time!"
Daniel (snickering): "Yeah, after watching that, I'll pass. You got your butt kicked, Mom. I'm pretty sure you lost the battle and the war."
March 4, 2013
Hungry Kids, Wasted Food- Thank you, Mama Obama
Insert all due sarcasm in that title, please.
Frankly, I've had enough.
My children come home from school every day ravenous. I don’t simply mean “they want an after-school snack”, I mean they’re so hungry, their blood sugar levels have dropped to the point that they're mean and irritable. This has been going on since the beginning of school. Last school year (and in previous school years) they loved school lunch. Not this year. It’s “awful”, “nasty”, “gross”, and “disgusting” to list just a few of the infelicitous terms they’ve used to describe the food.
My boys couldn’t be more opposite if I’d tried to make them that way. One will eat anything, the other doesn’t like but a handful of foods. So when my oldest (the picky kid) came home complaining about the school food, I admit I didn’t really take him very seriously. He’ll complain if the mac & cheese isn’t creamy enough or the chicken nuggets aren’t white meat; but when my kid who will eat just about anything came home complaining that the food at school was yucky, I paid closer attention. He’d come home on a daily basis pleading with me to send him lunch from home because he didn’t want to face another day of cafeteria food.
After questioning them a bit, I also discovered that they’re being “forced” to purchase food they won’t eat. Apparently, they are required to purchase an entrée as well as a side.
To be clear, they’re NOT forced to eat it, just to purchase it.
For example, if there is a side they want but the entrée isn’t something they’ll eat, they have no choice but to purchase both. So you know what they do with those entrees and sides they’re required to purchase? They throw them in the trash untouched.
No, really. How wasteful is that?
The theory “if they’re hungry enough, they’ll eat it” is a bunch of crap. Whoever came up with that doesn’t have kids or doesn’t live in America. My kids will NOT eat something they don’t like; they’ll simply refuse to eat.
(For the record- I am referring to my children only. I’m not talking abt kids in third-world countries where food is scarce. That is another topic altogether and one for a different blog. Maybe one day when I am feeling more humanitarian and less compelled by politicians trying to parent my children, I will write a blog about food shortages in foreign countries. However, that day is not today.)
Let me give you an example:
My youngest son is one of those kids who loves a good salad. I don’t mean a Ranch-drenched mess, either. He loves fresh tomatoes, raw carrots, and broccoli. One day, the “entrée” was a salad with ham on it. One of the sides available that day was a side salad. He wanted a salad but doesn’t like ham so he asked if he could purchase two side salads instead of having to purchase the entrée salad. He was told no, so he didn’t eat lunch that day. That makes absolutely NO sense to me. Seems to me that if he’s willing to eat two salads, why not let him?
Additionally, what if we were Jewish and he couldn't eat ham? We're not, but that isn't the point. Would they basically punish him based on his religion? Isn't that tantamount to discrimination? In this area, we have very few Jewish families so I admit I may be stretching this one a tad. However, to those few Jewish families there are here, it isn't a stretch at all; it's blatant discrimination.
Upon further research, requiring children to purchase food they’re not going to eat isn’t something that is limited to my local school district; this is nationwide, folks. It’s required at the primary and elementary levels, not so much at the middle and high school levels. Although, the older kids still have foods they’re required to purchase, even if they have no intention of eating it.
I have a secret… I’m not a perfect mom. THERE, I said it- my dirty little secret is out. While my children are always fed, I don’t always plan out our meals. I’m guilty of picking up the phone and ordering pizza here and there. We pull through Chick-Fil-A too. And I am guilty of counting ketchup as a veggie on occasion. And you know what? There are days I let them have just chocolate milk for breakfast, but dammit, that is MY decision to make. It isn’t for the government to decide. I am their mother.
To take it a step further- they might be children but they have rights too. They have a right to say, “I do not like this food and I will not eat it.” As their mother, I am behind them a hundred bazillion percent. But you know what? As their mother, I am out in front of them as well, shielding them as much as I can.
Strictly from a monetary standpoint- it’s my money that they’re using to purchase their lunches. To be required to purchase food that they’re not going to eat is ludicrous in my opinion. Not only is it a waste of money, it’s a waste of food, and resources.
Yeah, I could brown-bag their lunches, and I often do. The point I am trying to make is that I should not have to.
Recently, I spoke to a local school board member who told me that according to the new guidelines that have been mandated by the federal government, they have no choice but to use vendors who use wheat flour instead of white flour. I frequently hear folks say, “Well, wheat flour is healthier for you than white flour.” But if kids won’t eat it, what is the point of purchasing it? Not only do you end up with a huge amount of wasted food, you allow children to be hungry all day long.
That can’t be good for education. Can it?
They’ve completely removed foods like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from schools because there are very few vendors who supply a wheat bread version. That was my children’s fall-back. When there was absolutely NOTHING else they wanted on the menu, they’d resort to the ol' PB&J standby. Now that option is gone.
I also found out from this school board member is that this program was introduced by Michelle Obama and that it's been extremely unpopular nationwide. All you have to do is Google “Obama school food” or any incarnation thereof, to find a multitude of websites in which kids and adults alike are pushing back against this plan. According to many school districts, food waste has gone up over 20%. That's TWENTY percent OVER what it used to be and that’s huge, folks.
Instead of giving our kids more and better choices, they’ve limited them even further. They’ve made our children little automatons going through the line getting their daily dose of Soylent Green.
In my research, I found the following from another parent:
Indeed.
*Excerpt courtesy of: http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/09/michelle_obamas_share-the-starvation_school_lunch_program.html#ixzz2MdRuHsCl
References:
http://pjmedia.com/blog/wasted-food-hungry-kids-michelle-obamas-bill-in-action/
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/250732.php
http://dailycaller.com/2012/09/22/nations-children-push-back-against-michelle-obama-backed-school-lunch-regs/
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/09/michelle_obamas_share-the-starvation_school_lunch_program.html
Frankly, I've had enough.
My children come home from school every day ravenous. I don’t simply mean “they want an after-school snack”, I mean they’re so hungry, their blood sugar levels have dropped to the point that they're mean and irritable. This has been going on since the beginning of school. Last school year (and in previous school years) they loved school lunch. Not this year. It’s “awful”, “nasty”, “gross”, and “disgusting” to list just a few of the infelicitous terms they’ve used to describe the food.
My boys couldn’t be more opposite if I’d tried to make them that way. One will eat anything, the other doesn’t like but a handful of foods. So when my oldest (the picky kid) came home complaining about the school food, I admit I didn’t really take him very seriously. He’ll complain if the mac & cheese isn’t creamy enough or the chicken nuggets aren’t white meat; but when my kid who will eat just about anything came home complaining that the food at school was yucky, I paid closer attention. He’d come home on a daily basis pleading with me to send him lunch from home because he didn’t want to face another day of cafeteria food.
After questioning them a bit, I also discovered that they’re being “forced” to purchase food they won’t eat. Apparently, they are required to purchase an entrée as well as a side.
To be clear, they’re NOT forced to eat it, just to purchase it.
For example, if there is a side they want but the entrée isn’t something they’ll eat, they have no choice but to purchase both. So you know what they do with those entrees and sides they’re required to purchase? They throw them in the trash untouched.
No, really. How wasteful is that?
The theory “if they’re hungry enough, they’ll eat it” is a bunch of crap. Whoever came up with that doesn’t have kids or doesn’t live in America. My kids will NOT eat something they don’t like; they’ll simply refuse to eat.
(For the record- I am referring to my children only. I’m not talking abt kids in third-world countries where food is scarce. That is another topic altogether and one for a different blog. Maybe one day when I am feeling more humanitarian and less compelled by politicians trying to parent my children, I will write a blog about food shortages in foreign countries. However, that day is not today.)
Let me give you an example:
My youngest son is one of those kids who loves a good salad. I don’t mean a Ranch-drenched mess, either. He loves fresh tomatoes, raw carrots, and broccoli. One day, the “entrée” was a salad with ham on it. One of the sides available that day was a side salad. He wanted a salad but doesn’t like ham so he asked if he could purchase two side salads instead of having to purchase the entrée salad. He was told no, so he didn’t eat lunch that day. That makes absolutely NO sense to me. Seems to me that if he’s willing to eat two salads, why not let him?
Additionally, what if we were Jewish and he couldn't eat ham? We're not, but that isn't the point. Would they basically punish him based on his religion? Isn't that tantamount to discrimination? In this area, we have very few Jewish families so I admit I may be stretching this one a tad. However, to those few Jewish families there are here, it isn't a stretch at all; it's blatant discrimination.
Upon further research, requiring children to purchase food they’re not going to eat isn’t something that is limited to my local school district; this is nationwide, folks. It’s required at the primary and elementary levels, not so much at the middle and high school levels. Although, the older kids still have foods they’re required to purchase, even if they have no intention of eating it.
I have a secret… I’m not a perfect mom. THERE, I said it- my dirty little secret is out. While my children are always fed, I don’t always plan out our meals. I’m guilty of picking up the phone and ordering pizza here and there. We pull through Chick-Fil-A too. And I am guilty of counting ketchup as a veggie on occasion. And you know what? There are days I let them have just chocolate milk for breakfast, but dammit, that is MY decision to make. It isn’t for the government to decide. I am their mother.
To take it a step further- they might be children but they have rights too. They have a right to say, “I do not like this food and I will not eat it.” As their mother, I am behind them a hundred bazillion percent. But you know what? As their mother, I am out in front of them as well, shielding them as much as I can.
Strictly from a monetary standpoint- it’s my money that they’re using to purchase their lunches. To be required to purchase food that they’re not going to eat is ludicrous in my opinion. Not only is it a waste of money, it’s a waste of food, and resources.
Yeah, I could brown-bag their lunches, and I often do. The point I am trying to make is that I should not have to.
Recently, I spoke to a local school board member who told me that according to the new guidelines that have been mandated by the federal government, they have no choice but to use vendors who use wheat flour instead of white flour. I frequently hear folks say, “Well, wheat flour is healthier for you than white flour.” But if kids won’t eat it, what is the point of purchasing it? Not only do you end up with a huge amount of wasted food, you allow children to be hungry all day long.
That can’t be good for education. Can it?
They’ve completely removed foods like peanut butter and jelly sandwiches from schools because there are very few vendors who supply a wheat bread version. That was my children’s fall-back. When there was absolutely NOTHING else they wanted on the menu, they’d resort to the ol' PB&J standby. Now that option is gone.
I also found out from this school board member is that this program was introduced by Michelle Obama and that it's been extremely unpopular nationwide. All you have to do is Google “Obama school food” or any incarnation thereof, to find a multitude of websites in which kids and adults alike are pushing back against this plan. According to many school districts, food waste has gone up over 20%. That's TWENTY percent OVER what it used to be and that’s huge, folks.
Instead of giving our kids more and better choices, they’ve limited them even further. They’ve made our children little automatons going through the line getting their daily dose of Soylent Green.
In my research, I found the following from another parent:
"To quote our beloved President, this school lunch to-do is indeed a 'teachable moment.' America should pay heed to what happens when a benevolent government worms its way into private choice and uses the excuse that it's for the good of the citizenry. The truth is that what is currently taking place in school cafeterias across America is an omen of a future where the government that is currently regulating Tater Tots will one day be rationing health care."
Indeed.
*Excerpt courtesy of: http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/09/michelle_obamas_share-the-starvation_school_lunch_program.html#ixzz2MdRuHsCl
References:
http://pjmedia.com/blog/wasted-food-hungry-kids-michelle-obamas-bill-in-action/
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/250732.php
http://dailycaller.com/2012/09/22/nations-children-push-back-against-michelle-obama-backed-school-lunch-regs/
http://www.americanthinker.com/blog/2012/09/michelle_obamas_share-the-starvation_school_lunch_program.html
September 24, 2012
Happy Birthday, Christopher!
Eight years ago today, Hurricane Jeanne was bearing down on Florida’s coast and I was in labor at Baptist Hospital in Jacksonville. At 1:01 pm, Christopher Thomas stormed into our lives in a whirlwind. He was one of the most beautiful babies I’ve ever seen in my life. He wasn’t all scrunchy and red like most newborns; he looked like a baby doll.
As I’ve watched him grow, I am sometimes amazed that I can still see that same beautiful baby doll face in the big boy’s face I see today. I still think he’s one of the most beautiful people I’ve ever seen.
The saying about no two children being alike was made with my boys in mind, I think. My two couldn’t be more opposite if they tried. When his big brother was little, I could leave him sitting on the floor watching TV and walk out of the room for a minute, never worrying that he’d get into trouble. Christopher, on the other hand, taught me from that first day 8 years ago that I should never underestimate him.
Like many babies, Christopher had jaundice when he was born and as a result, had to be under the UV lights in the nursery. Since he was born during a hurricane, the hospital was packed with other moms also giving birth. One morning, I counted over 40 other babies in the nursery. The nurses told me to go get some sleep and they’d take care of him. But I couldn’t sleep; not after having him literally right next to my heart for the previous 9 months. Not knowing that out of 40 babies, MY baby was the only one who had to stay in the nursery. So I stood outside the nursery looking at him through the windows. I just stood there watching over him. Finally, after it became apparent that I wasn’t going to let him out of my sight, one of the nurses took pity on me and let me sit in a rocking chair next to him. Thank God for sympathetic nurses who understand that some Mamas just NEED their babies!
It was raining sideways so there was water seeping in on the 4th floor and the wind was howling like a banshee, but I will never forget those precious moments alone at 3am just watching him sleep.
Christopher has always been my mischievous one. He’s the kid who, when he was not quite 2, brought me some cookies and fed them to me.
I remember thinking how sweet he was… and then I remembered that those particular cookies had been on top of the refrigerator. Not only had he gotten them down, he’d opened the package with a pair of scissors! Speaking of scissors- he’s my kid who cut his own hair… right down to the scalp!
He has a sweet, sweet spirit and a tender heart. He doesn’t hesitate to help others. He’s a fiercely loyal brother and friend. He loves his big brother dearly but won’t hesitate to put a smack-down on him with a quickness. He’s very independent and likes being so.
He’s quite creative and is quick to argue his side to get his way. He’s not above using charisma to get his way either- this kid could charm the fleas off a dog!
He has a quirky sense of humor and finds the funny in almost every situation. He has a way of seeing the amusement that everyone else missed.
He isn’t Chris- he’s Christopher, thank you very much. Slightly pretentious maybe, but his name suits him; as does his nickname, Crisper. When he was a baby, I objected because I thought it made him sound like a head of lettuce, but it was too late- the name had already stuck. Now, I think the uniqueness fits him.
He’s an A student. Last year, he got one B on his report card and came home in tears. I said, “It’s okay, buddy! ‘B’ doesn't mean ‘bad’!” He replied, “I know, Mom, but it’s my first one!”
He is adventurous. He’s a foodie. This kid loves trying new foods. After trying a new dish recently, he told me, “Well, I didn’t really like it but I think I should have a little more just to make sure.”
Christopher is truly a wonderful and amazing person and I cannot imagine what my life would be like without him in it. For that matter, I can’t really remember what life was like before him. He makes me laugh, he makes my heart smile, he makes me cry tears of joy, and he makes me extremely proud to be his Mama.
Happy Birthday, my sweet Crisper! I love you more than you’ll ever know.
The saying about no two children being alike was made with my boys in mind, I think. My two couldn’t be more opposite if they tried. When his big brother was little, I could leave him sitting on the floor watching TV and walk out of the room for a minute, never worrying that he’d get into trouble. Christopher, on the other hand, taught me from that first day 8 years ago that I should never underestimate him.
It was raining sideways so there was water seeping in on the 4th floor and the wind was howling like a banshee, but I will never forget those precious moments alone at 3am just watching him sleep.
I remember thinking how sweet he was… and then I remembered that those particular cookies had been on top of the refrigerator. Not only had he gotten them down, he’d opened the package with a pair of scissors! Speaking of scissors- he’s my kid who cut his own hair… right down to the scalp!
He has a sweet, sweet spirit and a tender heart. He doesn’t hesitate to help others. He’s a fiercely loyal brother and friend. He loves his big brother dearly but won’t hesitate to put a smack-down on him with a quickness. He’s very independent and likes being so.
He’s quite creative and is quick to argue his side to get his way. He’s not above using charisma to get his way either- this kid could charm the fleas off a dog!
He isn’t Chris- he’s Christopher, thank you very much. Slightly pretentious maybe, but his name suits him; as does his nickname, Crisper. When he was a baby, I objected because I thought it made him sound like a head of lettuce, but it was too late- the name had already stuck. Now, I think the uniqueness fits him.
He is adventurous. He’s a foodie. This kid loves trying new foods. After trying a new dish recently, he told me, “Well, I didn’t really like it but I think I should have a little more just to make sure.”
Happy Birthday, my sweet Crisper! I love you more than you’ll ever know.
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