Can't You Just Pick Another One?

I wish I knew how to tell a long story short but I don't, so here goes...

I've learned that much like the phrase, "beauty is in the eye of the beholder", so is individual taste in furniture. Personally, I'm usually fairly traditional when it comes to furniture. I like classic, timeless, comfortable, functional pieces with gentle curves and clean lines. I do not like furniture that is overly ornate, super modern, dated, or anything with the word "contemporary" attached to it.

Dan, however, does like the contemporary style. Having said that, we managed to find a bed that we both like. (More like I absolutely LOVED it and he could live with it, but that is beside the point.) That bed is turning out to be quite the ordeal it seems.

Reader's Digest condensed version:

Went furniture shopping last year to get an idea of what we wanted.
Dozens of stores and many hours scouring the internet later, I found the bed I wanted.
Bed purchased in Feb.
Found out they're discontinuing the style, so had to take delivery immediately or not get it at all.
Bed delivered, but support beam is broken and has to go back.
Called the store. they can get me another one but it'll be March 17 before it's available.
Me: "The bed is being discontinued, are you absolutely, positively CERTAIN you can get me THAT bed?? Because if you can't, I want the broken one and I will have it fixed at my own expense."
Them: "Yes, Ma'am. We are *certain* we can get you one that isn't broken, it will just take several weeks."

...I wait...

Builders give us a closing date.
I called the store.
"I'm sorry, Ma'am, but that bed has been discontinued."
Me: "I realize it was discontinued but you told me that MINE would be available."
Them: "I'm not sure who told you that, but that bed was discontinued in February."
Me: "I *KNOW* it was discontinued... (explain when I purchased it, explain it was broken, explain I offered to take the broken one, explain that they promised me a new one... explain, explain, explain...)
Them: "They probably threw the broken one out or sold it 'As-Is' in the clearance outlet."
Me: "What about the floor model? It was the right size, just bring me that one."
Them: "Sorry, the floor model was sold last week."
Me: "So basically what you're telling me is that not only do you not have my bed there in your store, you can't get my bed, and the only two options I had of actually obtaining that bed have been sold out from under me, all the while you have in your possession well over a thousand dollars of MY money and I *still* don't have my damned bed?? Is that what you're saying to me right now?"
Them: "I'm not the manager who promised you this bed. Let me see if I can get you an update, I'll call you back."

Me: ...fuming...blood pressure rising...temper flaring...

Customer service lady called me back. Clearly, the managers didn't want to deal with me. "I'm sorry ma'am, the bed isn't available but we can give you a store credit. Can't you just pick a different one?"

Can't I just pick a different one?? CAN'T I JUST PICK A DIFFERENT ONE?? Did you really just ask me that?

It was an innocent question, really, and I know she didn't realize she was dealing with someone whose stress level is already exceeding the limits of their medication, but it was the proverbial last straw.
I told her no. NO, I *can't* just pick another one, I don't want ANOTHER one, I want THAT one. Doesn't she realize that I've picked out side tables, fixtures, and other furniture based on the colors of THAT bed? Does she really think "I'm sorry" is good enough? They have been jerking me around for the last two months and I've had enough. Second, if they can't produce THAT bed, I damned sure don't want a "store credit" because they will be giving me my money back in the form of cold hard cash.

I had a few other choice comments about their business practices and ethics. I also may have mentioned the BBB, the consequences of fraud, rip-offs, and how I'd personally lead the charge to make certain none of my friends, relatives, friends of friends, cousins of friends, cousins of friends of friends, strangers or anyone else I come in contact with ever purchased so much as a potted plant from their place of business again. I also may have questioned their parentage and the collective amount of brain cells they have between them and a few other rather colorful metaphors, but I can't recall exactly.

I'm usually a very flexible person... I can compromise... I can be reasonable... until I can't be. Once I've had enough, you might as well be hitting a brick wall because there is nothing that can be said or done to make me change my mind.

I am reminded of that scene from "Top Gun" where the Air Boss is in Viper's office screaming about the fly-by. "Two of your snot-nose jockeys did a fly-by on my tower at over 400 KNOTS! I want somebody's butt, I want it now, I've HAD IT!" That was me yesterday, minus the spilled coffee.

Anyway, once I was done with my rant, and believe me, *I* would not have wanted to be on the other end of that, she calmly told me that she'd get in touch with the manager who was working on it and have her call me this morning.

No one called. I really didn't expect them to since their customer service up to this point has been less than stellar, to say the least. So I called them instead. The manager who promised me the bed couldn't be bothered to come to the phone.

Instead, Carolyn, the poor woman who is probably paid minimum wage to answer the phone and deal with irate people like me, informed me, "They will have your bed for you on April 1st. I have no idea how they intend to get it because my computer says it's unavailable, but my manager says they'll have it."

I asked, "Is it THAT bed? The style I purchased? In the right color and size?"

Carolyn: "Yes ma'am, as far as I know, it's the one you ordered..."

Me: "Because I will still take the broken one if it isn't sold and have it fixed at my own expense. I will come get it RIGHT NOW as a matter of fact. I can be there in an hour."

Carolyn: "No, ma'am, that won't be necessary. Your bed will be delivered on April 1st."

I'm not holding my breath.

Not today, not tomorrow, not next week; Not gonna happen

Allow me to preface this-
I really don't mind my *friends and family* asking me to host a party for their business; and I don't mind hearing about the products they sell. In fact, I love having Pampered Chef, Mary Kay, Scentsy, Tupperware, Ladies Night Out, wraps, Avon, etc. parties at my house IF I have the time and if I can get a group of my friends together for it.

I also understand that picking up a phone and cold-calling people is tough. But calling someone you don't know and pretending you're long-lost pals is probably not the best way to get business.

The following is a phone call I just received:

Caller: "Hey, is this Cari?
Me: "Yes, this is Cari. What can I do for you?"
Caller: "Oh, it's so good to talk to you again! This is (NameIsn'tRingingaBell). I met you at that event in July."
Me: (pause) "Oh! Uhm," (trying valiantly to remember) "Which event was that?"
Caller: "You know, the one at the golf course."
Me: (rolling eyes to self) "Ah, okay. Which golf course?"
Caller: "The Fernandina public course. I sat at the table next to yours."
Me: (Gee, that narrows it down) "Ok, yeah, I think I might... uhm, what the name of your company again?"
Caller: "Well, at the time I was with ____ real estate but now I'm full time at my side job. I love it!"
Me: (still wracking my brains) "Oh! Well, that's great! I'm glad you're enjoying it more than your old job!"
Caller: "That's why I called you. I wanted to see if you're interested in joining my team?"
Me: "I'm sorry, what did you say your name is again?"
Caller: "(RepeatsUnfamiliarName) I can't believe you don't remember me! I gave you my card."
Me: (Eleventy-two events and a hundred business cards later...) "I haven't had enough coffee yet this morning. (self-deprecating laugh) I'm sorry; to be honest, I don't remember meeting you. You're gonna have to help me out here, what is it that you do again?"
Caller: "I sell scented candles for ____."
Me: "Oh, okay! (still don't recall meeting this person) Which event did I meet you at?"
Caller: "It was the one that the ____ sponsored. I am having a special this month if you want to become a distributor. It's only $350. for the start-up kit! But you make all your money back after one show! The kit includes..."
(tells me all about it as I shuffle through old business cards)
Caller: "Doesn't that sound like a great offer? You can pay off your car and make all sorts of extra money for Christmas! I have my calendar right here in front of me, I can schedule a time to come to your house."
Me: "I really don't have time..."
Caller: "Don't have time to make some extra money?" (laughs like I'm stupid for rejecting this fabulous offer) "You know the saying, 'If not now, then when? If not you, then who?' It's a great opportunity!"
Me: "Listen, I really do have a lot going on right now..."
Caller: "Oh. This doesn't take up a lot of time- just a few nights each week."
Me: "I don't have a couple nights each week to spare."
Caller: "Are you sure? You won't get this chance again! This is a once in a lifetime offer!"
Me: (losing patience) "I'm *sure* I don't have time to do this right now but I appreciate you thinking of me."
Caller: (getting huffy) "If you don't want to become a distributor, can you host a party? It's the least you can do for not remembering me."
Me: (flabbergasted) "I beg your pardon?"
Caller "I was just kidding! Would you like to set up a time to have lunch and we can discuss this?"
Me: (Speaking slowly) "As I said, I really don't have time..."
Caller: (in a sing-song chirpy voice) "You could make the time if you really wanted to."
Me: "As I was saying before you interrupted me- I have many commitments. I don't have time to take on anything else right now. Also, I'm still not sure who you are. I don't mean to sound rude, but I've met a lot of people over the last six months and I really don't remember meeting you."
Caller: (snotty tone) "Well, you could have just said that from the start!"

And then she hung up on me. /sigh I can't win.

First- I need to learn the fine art of saying, "Not no, but hell no. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week. No, no, no, no, no, NO!"

Second- am I required to be polite to people like this? I was tempted to call her back and tell her off, but grace and manners kicked in and I decided against it.

Third- she was right about one thing- I probably would make the time if I really wanted to do it. I wish I knew how to politely say, "I'm sorry but this isn't something I'd be interested in doing." It's just a few little words; it seems like it'd be so easy to say. But somehow, I can't bring myself to utter them.

Is it my upbringing? My sense of propriety? WHY can't I come right out and say, "No, thank you", never worrying about hurting someone's feelings or being rude?

Fourth- I have a lot of old business cards.

Grits

Got a hankerin' for grits & eggs a few days ago only to find that I was all out of grits!! How does that happen in a southern girl's kitchen?! I keep waiting for the Grits Police to come knocking and take back my Girls Raised In The South card.

I think it's listed as one of the Unforgivable Sins in the Proper Southern Girl's Handbook. Ranks right up there with wearing white shoes after Labor Day or spitting unsweet tea on Scarlett O'Hara's grave or serving deviled eggs without the appropriate tray. It's just not right, I tell you!

My Mother-in-law told me once how her Mother prepared grits in their house. She'd cook them on the stove in much the same way I do, except she didn't add salt.

Didn't add salt?! What?! How on earth do you serve grits without salt?

Apparently, they cooked the grits and poured them into a loaf pan. Then they baked them and put them in the fridge overnight. Then they dumped the grits-loaf out, sliced it, dipped it in egg batter and fried it up. Then they served it with syrup.

Yep, syrup.

Now, I'll try anything once, but I cannot imagine what grits could possibly taste like with syrup on them. My MIL swears it was good, but I have my doubts.

Being the purist that I am, I think I'll stick to my plain ol' grits with salt & butter. Maybe a little bacon here and there. Maybe some tomato gravy on top. Or maybe a fried egg mixed in. With pepper. And salt. And butter!

Oh lord, now I'm hungry!