Grandma told me once that she’d be mad at me if I cried at her funeral. I can’t promise you today that I won’t cry; I’ll try not to.
Today is not a day of sadness. Today is a day of rejoicing. It is a day for celebrating the life and the homecoming of my great-grandmother, Helen Azalee Parker Ford.
I find it comforting and fitting that her service is being held here in the church she loved. This isn’t just the church she belonged to, the people here were like extended family to her and she loved you all dearly. Over the years, I can remember coming with her to countless services and sitting right about there, halfway back.
Grandma Helen was truly one of the most amazing people I’ve ever known, or will ever know. She’d tell you that she was blessed to have lived so long as to know her great-great grandchildren. Truth be known, we’re the ones who are blessed to have known her.
You’ve heard the expression, “they don’t make ‘em like that anymore”? That’s the kind of stock she came from.
Grandma, as she was known to most, was born in 1917. The oldest of six children, she grew up during a time when there was very little to go around. She could tell you all about ration stamps, oleo, cans of Klim, flour-sack dresses, and the many uses of the Sears-Roebuck catalogue.
You see, growing up in the middle of the sticks, there were no indoor bathrooms. If you had to go, you went to the outhouse. Hence, one of the many uses for the Sears-Roebuck catalogue.
In 1932, she met a man named Thomas Ford at a square dance. I remember her telling me one time that he was the most handsome man she’d ever seen and she couldn’t wait to marry him. So in April of 1932, they got married. In October of 1933, she had her first and only child- my grandfather- Tommy. She said many times over the years that no mother was ever prouder of a son than she was of him.
In 1954, he gave her the best gift he could have given her- the gift of grandchildren. She often said the day she became a grandmother was one of the happiest in her life.
Some of my oldest and best memories of childhood revolve around Grandma in some way. And I can’t recall a time I spent with her that she didn’t teach me something in one way or another; even if I didn’t realize I was learning something at the time.
Grandma taught me by example to put my faith in the Lord. Every night as she said her prayers, she recited the twenty-third Psalm. When I was a little girl, I asked her why she did that. She said it was because it reminded her not to fear anything because the Lord is always with her.
Grandma taught me the value of sittin’ and visitin’ and boy did she love to visit! There was often a pan of Congo Squares and a cup of coffee involved in the visitin.’
When I was in elementary school, Mama dropped me off at Grandma’s every morning and she’d put me on the bus. For those thirty minutes or so that I was with her, I was the Queen of the Universe. She waited on me like my hands were glued on, fixed me whatever I wanted for breakfast and gave me her full and undivided attention. Those mornings with Grandma taught me that it doesn’t take much to make someone feel incredibly special.
She taught me the difference between listening and hearing. Listening means you heard someone, hearing means you understood them. No matter what crazy idea I came up with, Grandma always heard me.
Grandma taught me that there are few things more comforting than a sugar-box pound cake and a pot of chicken & dumplin’s. Chicken & rice will work in a pinch, but there’s nothing else in the world quite like Grandma’s chicken & dumplin’s.
Grandma also taught me not to judge. A banana and mayonnaise sandwich sounds just awful until you’ve tried one.
Grandma taught me that when you look back over your life, it’s the little things that will matter the most. She once said to me, “Always sit & hold a baby when you have the chance. There will always be housework to do but babies don’t keep.” As I look at my boys, I know she was so right.
She taught me that it’s okay to be mad at someone, just don’t let them make you mad at the world. It’s also perfectly acceptable to slam the screen door every once in a while.
As a woman who was married for more than fifty years, I figured I’d better listen when she gave me marriage advice. She told me two things when I got married: “Don’t let the sun set on your anger” and “Don’t start anything now that you don’t want to have to do for the rest of your life.” Boy, I sure wish I’d listened to that one!
Of course, she also said, “You love him so much now and you just want to eat him up. One day you’ll wish you had.”
Grandma Helen was an uncommonly kind person. She looked for the good in everybody she met and she often found it.
Indeed, all of us have been extraordinarily blessed to have known her- friends and family alike. Grandma Helen was a sweet, sweet spirit who loved those around her with her whole being. You couldn’t help but feel special in her presence.
Not too long ago, several of the grandchildren were sitting around chatting when one of us said, “Well, I know she loves ya’ll, but I’m her favorite.”
One of the others said, “Uhm, I thought I was her favorite.”
Then someone else said, “Nope, it was definitely me.”
As I think back on that, I realize that even though we all have different memories and see her from our individual perspectives, we all feel that same special love that made each of us her favorite.
Even so, I’m pretty sure it was me.
If I could talk to her once more today, I would tell her again just how much she’s shaped and impacted me. Because of her, I am a better mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend and person than I would have been without her in my life. She helped me become who I am today and I am humbly grateful.
I know that in all the years I am given, I will never find another person who loves me like she did and I thank God for giving me one of His dearest and best angels in the person of my great-grandmother. Happy Homecoming, Grandma!
