April 11, 2013

Opening Pandora's... Closet?

"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life.” -Winston Churchill

I saw something on Facebook earlier that prompted this blog post. It was a video of a reporter from MSNBC doing an interview with her daughter about marriage. During the interview, she asked what the child thought of gay marriage and I couldn’t help but smile at her daughter’s answer. It made me think, "Good job, Mama! You've done something right along the way."

See, it’s not very different at all from the conversation I had with my own boys about the very same subject. I tend to believe that civil rights are called civil rights for a reason. There is a clear separation of church and state written into the Bill of Rights, why should one person’s religious beliefs determine someone else’s civil rights?

Frankly, who the hell am I to tell you, or you, or you, who you can and cannot love? I may be straight, but I’m not narrow.

I’m pro gay marriage and I’m extremely thankful no one ever told me I couldn’t marry my husband when I fell in love with him. I’m thankful for a partner who accepts me for me and doesn’t try to change me, even when he doesn’t agree with me. He stands up for me and would charge Hell with nothing but a water pistol to defend me.

I am of the firm belief that no one is born hating another person. Hatred is a learned trait. So are bigotry, prejudice, sexism, elitism, racism, and homophobia. I believe that if a child can be taught all of those ugly things, they can also be taught love, respect, acceptance, kindness, tolerance, and compassion.

Have you ever observed preschoolers playing? They don’t see “colors”; they see other kids to play with. They don’t care if that child is Asian, Hispanic, or “brown” or “pink” or rich or poor. They simply see someone to play with. As much as adults like to think they have it all figured out, I’m pretty sure it’s the children who are far wiser than many adults I know.

I am a wife and a damned good one. My husband is lucky to have me and he knows it. But I’m just as lucky to have him and believe me when I say that I certainly know it.

I’m a wannabe writer. Will I ever be as good as Hemingway or sell as many books as Stephenie Meyer? Probably not. In fact, let’s just go ahead and say it’s a pretty safe bet that neither of those things will ever happen. But I still like to write. It’s my outlet.

I like to blog. I don’t do it nearly enough, but I still enjoy chronicling our lives this way.

I’m a coffee connoisseur. Actually, "snob" might be a more appropriate term here. Great coffee is like great sex- if all you’ve ever had is average sex, you’re accustomed to it so you accept it; but your mind is blown when you have amazing sex and suddenly everything else seems pedestrian in comparison. Same is true for coffee.

I’m an avid reader. I even read graffiti on the walls in the bathroom. I usually have at least three books going at once.

I’m a Rock Band rock star and sound just like Joan Jett when I sing “I Love Rock & Roll.” No, really, I do.

I’m a movie aficionado. I love a good sappy love story, especially if it involves a black & white film or anything with Doris Day, Rock Hudson, and Tony Randall. I won't turn down a little eye-candy of the George Clooney variety either.

I am a certified Girl Raised In The South. Being Southern isn’t about where you’re born; it’s a way of life. Here in the south we don’t hide our crazy; we parade it around on the front porch and give it sweet tea.

I’m an unapologetic Mama Bear when it comes to my boys. I'm fairly mild-mannered until someone messes with my children; then I'm twelve kinds of bat-shit crazy coming unglued. It's the kind of crazy that you don't see coming. It knows no reason and has no excuse; it simply is, and that's that.

I’m a believer in co-sleeping and attachment parenting, and I believe breast milk is best for a baby. But I’m not gonna judge you if you don’t believe those things. What worked for me might not work for you, and you know what? That’s okay.

I’m pro-life and will gladly tell you the reason I believe what I do. But it isn’t up to me to judge anyone for the personal decisions they make. While I won’t help anyone obtain an abortion, neither will I stand in your way should you choose to have one.

I try very hard not to judge. I don’t always succeed, but I try.

I believe in the Bill of Rights and will fight tooth and nail to defend those rights.

I'm a strong supporter of our military. Those who won't stand behind our troops are certainly welcome to go stand in front of them. I'll even help you get there, if need be.

I’ll readily admit that I have very few close friends, but those I do have know that they couldn’t ask for a more steadfast and loyal friend than me. They know I love them and will do anything for them; and I truly would.

I am a Christian who attends a Methodist church that I adore. However, I believe and teach my children to “coexist” with everyone. I respect everyone’s beliefs, whether they’re spiritual or religious.

Little-known fact about me: I once dated a man who is Muslim. He was extraordinarily polite, treated me with respect, and never once mentioned blowing up anything. He was and still is a good friend. I also have Jewish friends, Wiccan friends (and relatives), friends who are Pagans, Catholics, atheists, and Baptists. I have friends and family who are missionaries. And you know what? I don’t have to agree with them to love them; and I do love them dearly.

I am of the firm belief that it would only take a few generations of Mamas like me teaching our children to celebrate each other’s differences rather than using them as a reason to divide us; to change the whole world.

In my house we do second chances.
We do grace.
We do real.
We do mistakes.
We do I’m sorry.
We do loud really well.
We do forgiveness.
We do mercy.
We do compassion.
We do kindness.
We do hugs.
We do family.
We do love.

I am who I am, folks. Love me, like me, or hate me; but I am who I am. I am not perfect. I might bend a little, I might even change my mind about the way I feel about something, but I refuse to change who I am for anyone.